Dr love with Mid-Day: Can’t handle his anger episodes...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has a problem with anger management and says it's a sign that he cares. He loses his temper with
me all the time and says it's his only way of communicating because he wants me to understand him better. I keep telling him that this doesn't work because it puts me on the backfoot and makes it harder for me to do what he's asking me to. He's a great guy and I love him a lot so I don't feel as if this is reason enough to make me wary about being with him, but I would like him to change if this relationship is to get better. How do I do this?
Your boyfriend may be great and it's nice that you love each other, but it's also important for you both to acknowledge that this is a problem that needs to be resolved. Accepting it is always an option, but it will come at a cost, and you should both be aware of that. Anger is never a sign of care and should be treated as an emotion with the capacity to cause harm. It's okay to lose one's temper because we all do, but it's also important for him to recognise that it becomes emotionally abusive at some point given its impact on you. If you want this relationship to evolve, start by having conversations about why this needs to change and insist that he take it seriously.

I am madly in love with a girl whom I haven't had a conversation with in real life. We are Facebook friends because we have common friends, but I don't know how she will react if I ask her out on Facebook messenger. Is this the right approach?
Any approach is right if it's done with respect. If you want to get to know her better, tell her that's why you're messaging, instead of turning this into a date. At the very least, you will find out if she's interested in knowing you too.

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