Dr love with Mid-Day: Girlfriend brings her friend on dates!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend has an annoying habit of bringing one of her friends along when we go out to dinner or a movie. She thinks it's a nice thing to do because she wants me to get to know them better, but she doesn't seem to understand that this is causing a rift between us because I feel as if I am forced to spend time with people I don't want to. Being with her alone is important because it helps me understand her better, and the presence of other people only makes it hard for me to be myself and talk about things I really want to talk about. If this continues, I may not be able to stay in this relationship which will be a shame because I really like her. How do I stop this without making her hate me?
Your girlfriend has no reason to hate you if you are asking for time alone with her. It's a perfectly reasonable wish and one that is critical to the future of your relationship. Getting to know her friends is important, but at a time and place that works for you both. If you feel as if this is imposed upon you without your wishes, it isn't okay and needs to be called out. If you are worried about her reaction, you shouldn't because a strong relationship is built upon honesty and the establishment of boundaries. Tell her what's on your mind.

Is it normal for a guy to take months to figure out if a relationship is meant to be or not? We have been on dates every weekend, but he doesn't seem to be able to commit to anything definite and it's getting increasingly frustrating.
That depends upon circumstances, how you feel about this, and whether you are prepared to wait. People can take forever to make a decision, but you are also entitled to do what is best for you and ask for a resolution if you feel as if you can't keep waiting.

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