Afraid we’ll drift apart after college

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I keep my relationship steady after college ends? My girlfriend and I have been together for two years, but I sometimes feel as if this relationship is only possible because we have classes together. It's as if the world outside, when we start working and spend more time apart, will make it harder for us to maintain this level of closeness. I don't want to lose her. Do you have any advice on what I can do to prevent this from happening?
You're focusing on situations where you will have no control because nothing or anything can derail a relationship. Proximity helps, of course, but it isn't the only thing that determines the strength of this bond with your girlfriend. If you don't want to lose her, it's important to focus on what you have and understand why you have chosen to be together. Yes, the world outside college is different and will require you both to spend time apart, but this is a change of scenario, not feelings or priorities. If you can both talk about this relationship, how you see it evolving, and what you intend to do to maintain it, you will both be fine. Pre-empting the worst or assuming this will or won't work out in the future doesn't solve anything because neither of you can predict what tomorrow will bring.

Will it be a problem if I date someone who is a lot older than me? I think he's very interesting and I know he likes spending time with me, too, but I am afraid to say anything directly because I don't know how he will react. Is this a good idea?
Getting to know him will help you both answer this. You are under no obligation to get into a relationship with anyone, age gap notwithstanding, if you aren't comfortable. You don't have to say anything directly either, because if you like spending time together, it will allow you both to get a sense of what the other is like.

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