Can’t stop thinking about my ex...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a steady relationship with a guy I love very much, but I keep thinking of my last relationship. I know it's wrong to have these feelings, and I have no reason to be dissatisfied with my boyfriend at all, but I can't help it. It's making me question whether I should break up. Everyone I speak to thinks I'm insane for even having this thought. I don't want to go back to my ex, but I can't get him out of my mind and keep wondering if it's a sign that I made a mistake or I was too hasty. What should I do?
You shouldn't feel sorry for feeling the way you do because they're your feelings and you're entitled to having them. It may make more sense to think carefully about what this means though, and what aspect of your former relationship you miss. You don't want to go back to your ex, so this may be more of an emotional need that is missing from your current relationship, or a sign that something isn't being addressed. Ending your relationship at this point will only harm you because you will be making a decision that isn't informed by clarity. Take some time to think about this deeply, have conversations with your partner about this relationship, and ask questions about what you both expect from each other. This may help you unlock what is bothering you and help you figure out if you're really missing a person or a feeling from your past.

My girlfriend is moving to another city for eight months and I am worried that not seeing each other regularly will ruin what we have. What can I do to prevent that from happening?
You can talk about it with honesty because communication will be critical in the period when you are apart. If you can make time for each other, understand your priorities, and accept that this will take some extra work, you should both be able to manage.

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