Dr Love with Mid-Day: Should we try living together first?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a long-term relationship with my partner, and we have been discussing the possibility of living together. Some of my friends think it's a logical step but I have also been warned that this could have a negative impact if we find that we aren't compatible when it comes to managing daily challenges. I am not worried, but I also don't want to ruin things if everything is going smoothly. We are not in a hurry to marry, so this arrangement works for both of us. Should we go ahead and try it or just let things stay the way they are until we want to change the nature of our relationship?
This is something only you and your partner can decide because you have to talk about what you want from this relationship. Yes, living together will mean getting used to other aspects of your individual personalities, but that will be inevitable if you commit to a life-long relationship. If you're satisfied with the way things are, and don't feel as if there's something missing, talk about why the suggestion has been made and what you expect from the other. Relationships evolve only when there's an honest conversation about what you both want from the other, and how you think that can be achieved. If living together brings you something new, talk about whether that's a good or bad thing.

The person I am having a casual relationship with is becoming increasingly possessive. How do I handle this? We spoke about this being casual but she's suddenly starting to want more.
It's normal for people to want something more in any relationship but you can choose to accept or reject that if it isn't working for you. If you have both been clear about your expectations and you can't offer her what she wants, you have to tell her that and allow her to decide if she is willing to accept what you are offering. If that compromise isn't working, neither is your arrangement.

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