Dr love with mid-day: Should I or should I not be with him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My friends are giving me conflicting advice about my relationship, and I don't know what to do about it. They know that my boyfriend and I are dealing with some issues, but their suggestions are so different that I am confused. One wants me to take his side more and see where he's coming from, while the other says it's obvious we aren't compatible and that I should break up with him as soon as possible. I love them both and know they want the best for me, but their advice is making it hard for me to figure out how I can save my relationship. I can't discuss this with my boyfriend because he won't be happy about what they are saying about him. If I ignore their advice, that will only cause more problems, which is why I feel as if I am stuck. Please help.
It's okay to listen to what your friends are saying, but it's also important to recognise that the only people qualified to make your relationship work are you and your boyfriend. Everyone else may have an opinion, and it may even be a valid one, but it won't save your relationship if you and your boyfriend aren't invested in making this work. If your friends want the best for you, they will also trust you to have a mind of your own and do what you think is best for you. Fear of how they will react shouldn't push you into doing something you don't want to. Why not sit with them both, explain your dilemma, and ask for time. Speak to your boyfriend too and tell him why you are feeling the way you are, because the onus of fixing this is on him. If he can't put in the work, and you're trying to do what you can without his inputs, there is no future for this relationship. It may sound harsh, but you are the best judge of what needs to be done to resolve your issues.

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