Dr love with mid-day: Why does he always badmouth his exes?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend keeps making nasty comments about his exes. I wonder if this is how he treats all women, and if he will say something horrible about me too if our relationship doesn't work out in the future. I want to call him out on this, but I don't because we have only been together for four months and I don't want to make assumptions about him before getting to know him better. Is this a red flag or am I overthinking this too early in our relationship? I want to give him the benefit of doubt, but I also want to make sure I'm not making a mistake by choosing to be with him.
You're right to worry about this because being nasty about someone who can't put across their point of view is unfair and avoidable. Giving him the benefit of doubt is also okay at this point though, given that you need time to get to know what he's like. It's also a definite indicator of character, and something you should keep in mind while trying to understand him better. If it bothers you, call it out when he says it, because that also establishes your own boundaries and gives him information about what is and isn't okay in this relationship. If what he's saying borders on disrespect, it's a red flag, as is any indication of misogyny, so you're right to be concerned.

I don't think my husband wants any children and it's creating serious issues in our marriage because I don't know if I can be with him. Is there anything I can do to change his mind?
This is a serious discussion with life-altering consequences for you both, and his reasons may be valid for him. If you can't accept them, and it's a deal-breaker for you, this marriage isn't going to work. Becoming a parent isn't something either of you can take lightly, so try and spend time trying to understand his reasons more carefully while putting your own perspective across.

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