Dr love with mid-day: He seems happier doing his own thing

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 30-year-old woman and my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year-and-a-half. He has begun to show signs of boredom with this relationship, and I don't know how to resolve this. He is happy when he does things he likes, so I wonder if I should ask him to take some time to himself and come back when he thinks he's ready for this. The risk is he may not want to come back if he feels comfortable having a life without me. We love each other a lot and I used to think this was someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Should I take the risk?
Time apart isn't a risk if you are both clear about what you want from this relationship and what you think needs to happen. What you refer to as boredom may simply be a need that isn't being addressed, and the thing to do is identify it. This won't be easy without honest communication, but any relationship that is meant to last will be built upon the premise that two people want to make it work. Ask more questions about how he sees this, whether he thinks his needs are being met, and what he wants from you and this relationship. Having those discussions may be a lot more helpful than simply spending time apart from each other. If he needs more space and can articulate why, that is when you can both decide your next course of action.

Should I reconnect with my ex-boyfriend assuming he is still in love with me? I ask because I recently checked his Facebook page and he had posted a picture of us together.
Posting a picture and being in love are two different things. Why not take things slowly and ask if he wants to meet for coffee first? You are under no obligation to commit to anything without getting an idea of where things stand, so why rush into something?

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