Hard to handle his childishness!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 22-year old woman in a three-year-old relationship. We love each other a lot but he is very stubborn and arrogant when it comes to arguments between us. I am always the one who has to struggle to get him to see things from my perspective, and it takes a long time for him to realise his mistakes. It is difficult to handle his childish behaviour because he is five years older than I am. He lacks the communication skills required to handle an emotional person like me. When he is angry, he yells, which scares me. I worry that I won't get this kind of love again and thinking of ending this breaks my heart. Should I compromise by staying in this relationship or should I leave him?
- Rishita P
You're 22, which is the thing you should focus on. The fear of losing someone isn't necessarily reason enough to stay in any relationship if you feel as if you are compromising on other things such as your mental health or peace of mind. The fact is you probably haven't met enough people to create a benchmark of what a great partner is like. You have time on your side, so why not use it to think about what you want from a relationship, not just this one, and evaluate your partner by what he offers to meet those expectations. Arguments and a certain amount of immaturity come with every relationship, but you have to weigh the pros and cons of what you are giving up. Give yourself space, put your interests first, and accept the possibility that you will know what is right for you when you're old enough to have to make that decision. Three years with someone teaches you a lot about who they are, and what they can grow into. If you don't see any positive changes in this time, ask yourself if you believe things will improve in the years to come.

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