What if we are not compatible?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend and I are both new to the idea of being in a relationship and I am often confused about what she thinks. We talk a lot, but I don't always know what's on her mind or if I'm saying something that she doesn't agree with. I know we're trying to be nice to each other, but I also worry that I am causing harm to this relationship if I don't come across as someone compatible with her ideas or beliefs. Am I right to worry, or should I just assume she will tell me if something isn't going the way she wants it to?
If you're both new to this, you have to accept the possibility that she is probably feeling the same way too. Being nice to each other is great, but it also takes time for two people to get to a place where they are comfortable enough to be able to tackle difficult issues. It takes time to open up, share ideas, and let someone into your way of thinking. Give her time and space, focus on love, mutual respect, and open communication, and this will get easier with time. If you can be yourself and respect her, it will allow for an exchange of dialogue. Don't worry about anything else for now.

I have been in a relationship for two years and it is not working out. My girlfriend is begging me to reconsider because she doesn't want to lose me, but I have tried my best and don't see anything changing. What should I do?
You have presumably made up your mind based on facts and what is best for you. She may disagree but, at the end of the day, any relationship will work only if both partners are willing and committed to doing what is necessary. If you don't feel the same way, there is nothing that can be done and she will have to accept it at some point. It sounds harsh, but that's the situation you're in.

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