He just stopped saying nice things

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I get my husband to give me compliments again, when he just takes me and my presence for granted? We have been married for six years, and I can't remember the last time he said something nice about the way I dressed or the food I cooked. This used to be normal when we were dating, and I can't even remember when it stopped happening. I know the fault is mine too, because I didn't address it early on, but I don't want this to become the norm and us to be like roommates rather than people who still love each other. How do I fix this without speaking to a marriage counsellor?
Your husband is your companion, and someone you have made a lifelong commitment to. Taking someone for granted is easy, because relationships require work and not everyone wants to put in that effort. You can make a start by changing the way you communicate though, because it is sometimes simplest to talk about how you feel and what you would like to change. There may be love between you, but it has to be expressed if one of you is feeling as if it isn't coming across. It is your husband's duty to acknowledge how you feel and do something about it. Talk about what life was like when you were dating, don't be afraid to address big topics like life, love, and the future. If you can open up emotionally, and tell each other what you want from this marriage, you won't need a counsellor. It is all about practice, so give yourself time and don't write this off as something that cannot be fixed.

How should I cut someone out of my life without turning them into a sworn enemy?
Being clear about your reasons may help, because adults have the capacity to walk away from a toxic relationship without being immature or holding a grudge. Simply explain why this isn't working, and why you don't want to stay in touch.

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