He thinks he doesn’t look good

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to end our relationship because he didn't look good alongside me. I didn't know how to react even though it was not a surprise because he has always been insecure about my looks. Apparently, a friend of his said that we didn't look like a great couple, and that it felt as if I was with him for the wrong reasons, which was why he wasn't sure we should continue being together. I was hurt by his shallow approach to this, but also by the fact that he didn't think about my feelings or even his own while making this decision for both of us. I chose to be with him because of the person he is, not what he looks like, and he never understood that simple fact. Should I try and save this relationship after what has happened? I still love him a lot and maybe he's just confused and needs to be reassured that what I feel is real.
You can try and save this if it's important to you, provided you do it with your eyes open and acknowledge that this person's insecurity will keep getting in the way until he accepts it. If someone can be this shallow and ignore their own feelings to take someone else's opinion into consideration, it should also tell you how much you matter to him. Strong relationships are built upon unshakeable trust and a shared commitment. What your boyfriend has done points to a lack of both, so trying to save this will be impossible until you bring it up and he is ready to admit that he was wrong. It's also obvious that he doesn't see this relationship the same way you do, which has to change before you consider giving him another chance. There appear to be many hurdles in the way, so base your decision upon how much you are willing to do, and at what point you are ready to walk away.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com