Am I no longer attracted to him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been struggling with the idea of being intimate with my partner for a few months now. We have been in a relationship for a little over two years and I know that this is normal, but it's still bothering me because it makes me question whether I am no longer in love with him. When I am not physically attracted to someone, I usually start to second-guess myself about my feelings and it has an impact on how I see my partner. I want to do something about this soon because the longer this situation lasts, the higher the chances of me losing interest in the relationship itself and then ending it. I don't want that to happen because until I started feeling this way, I was sure that this was a lifelong commitment. How do I save our relationship?
You know what the issue is and are worried about saving this relationship because you believe it matters. The notion of intimacy, like any other aspect of life involving two people, is about give and take. You may feel a certain way that your partner may or may not identify with. Like any challenge you approach together, it can only be handled with honesty about how you feel, and a discussion about what you both commit to doing to resolve it. If you can't speak to your partner about intimacy, that is also a sign that you have to work on other aspects of your relationship. You have to ask yourself questions about what intimacy means to you, what your partner is or isn't doing to make you feel more comfortable, and how you can both come up with ways to change this situation. Taking time off for a holiday, for example, can allow you to recalibrate how you look at each other, and what you think you both need to work on. This isn't something that can derail your relationship if you are both sure about what is important and what you want to preserve.

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