Dr Love with Mid-Day: What if I don’t live up to expectations?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been avoiding getting physically intimate with my partner because she has had multiple boyfriends before me. I have only dated two people before, so I feel insecure and don't know how comfortable I will be if she starts to compare me to her exes. She is being understanding about this, but I also know that she finds it strange. I don't want this to be an issue between us, but I can't seem to find the confidence to just move past the issue. How do I resolve this? I love her a lot and I don't want her to think that I'm a prude and break up with me.
You should come clean about your fears and ask for time. Your fears may seem irrational, but they can't simply be wished away, so the best way to resolve them is to get support from your partner. Explain why you are struggling, be open about your feelings, and tell her that you love her. If she wants this relationship to work as much as you do, this will resolve itself on its own. Physical intimacy cannot and should not be forced, so be patient and accept that you just need a little time.

I recently broke up with someone because I thought I was in love with someone else. It was a huge mistake because the person I began dating turned out to be completely different from what I expected. I have been trying to get my ex-boyfriend back, but he doesn't even return my calls. How do I get him back? I am genuinely sorry that I made such a huge mistake and hurt him so much.
You may be genuinely sorry but the onus of accepting you back into his life is still your ex-boyfriend's. All you can do is send him a message putting across your point of view and hope that he finds a way of moving past it. Ask him if he is open to a chat over coffee, if nothing else.

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