He didn’t show up for our first date!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently matched with someone online and we began chatting. This went on for days and I started to get really interested in this person. We exchanged numbers and continued our conversations but couldn't meet because he was travelling for a while. He recently got back and we finally set a date, but he didn't show up. I waited for an hour, and he messaged later saying it was a family emergency. Since then, he has not mentioned another date, and I don't know what's going on. I wonder if he came, saw me from a distance, and left. I know this sounds like a conspiracy, but I can't think of any other reason for what has happened. Should I keep chatting with him and ask for another meeting or just assume this is someone I should avoid?
You should avoid someone who isn't putting in as much of an effort as you are. Online personas have nothing to do with who we are in real life and even if he had an emergency, the onus of making this okay is on him. If he doesn't communicate and doesn't make more of an effort to make this right, you should assume this is a mistake. If he does ask for a meeting and you choose to indulge him, do it knowing that you are under no obligation to stay in touch if you don't connect with him in any meaningful way. Online dating comes with its share of pitfalls, and this is just one of them.

A few weeks ago, I got drunk at a party and misbehaved with someone I have a crush on. I don't know how to fix this. How can I ask him out if he thinks that's who I really am?
You can come clean about the alcohol, apologise for your behaviour, and ask him to consider going out for a cup of coffee. If he has used that incident to make up his mind about you, there's nothing else you can do.

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