He’s not really nice to me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

This is a strange problem, but my boyfriend isn't very friendly with me, and it makes me confused because it feels as if he treats our relationship differently. I want him to kiss me and be affectionate, but it always feels as if I have to ask him to do these things. They never happen naturally or without my prompting. I have tried talking about this and he always counters it by asking if I am unhappy being with him. Should I just lower my expectations and assume that this is the kind of person he is? I don't have any other problem being with him and I don't doubt his feelings for me, which is why I question if I am being unreasonable.
There is nothing wrong with having expectations from a relationship because that is your only measure of whether it is right for you or not. If it isn't giving you what you think you need, lowering your expectations is unfair to you because communication can lead to positive change and a stronger bond. Your boyfriend isn't countering your question with another question; he is also deflecting it and absolving himself of responsibility. He is aware of what you want because you have been specific. If he can't provide it, and doesn't want to offer an explanation, you should question this more. Actions matter, and expectations that match lead to relationships that last.

I cheated on my long-term girlfriend after she moved to another city. What should I do? If I tell her this, we will certainly break up and I don't want to do that because I feel as if it was a one-time incident. I was just vulnerable after she moved away.
If you choose not to tell her, and she believes that this relationship is stronger than it obviously is, you should ask yourself if anything built on deception will evolve. If you felt vulnerable, she needs to know that. Also, if the situation were reversed, ask yourself what you would prefer.

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