His mum controls his entire life!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old and have been dating a guy a few years older. We have been together for a year-and-a-half and it's pretty serious, but the thing that bothers me is his mother's control. She doesn't let him make any decisions about his life, from what he has to study to his career choices, and what surprises me is how okay he is with this. She clearly approves of me, which is why I am allowed to be his girlfriend, but it's strange to imagine a future where she will continue to define all his life-decisions. I love him very much and hope we can make this work, but this is such a huge red flag that I sometimes wonder if it's better to break up with him now and avoid any future heartbreak. What should I do?
You are both in your twenties, which means there may be some time to go before your partner starts to acknowledge that he has the right to make his own decisions. It is a potential problem if he can't think for himself, but you are presuming the worst without any real knowledge of what the future holds. If you love each other, and want to make this work, the nature of your relationship will evolve. The people who influence him may continue to be important, but your presence will make a difference too. Why not wait and see how things change, instead of letting go of someone you love assuming he will not support you? If he hasn't given any indication of that happening yet, you have no reason to fear him or his mother.

When should one stop thinking about a crush if there is no hope of it ever materialising into a real relationship?
It sounds as if that point has already arrived, given that you know there is no hope. You can continue to have a crush on someone, of course, provided you can figure out what that offers you, if anything.

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