How do I win back his trust?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My ex-boyfriend and I have been chatting about giving our relationship another chance, but he says he can't trust me. I want him back, but I also know that I hurt him, so I don't know how I can fix this issue. He is hesitant to even meet me for a chat because he says he doesn't know if it's a good idea. We were together for a few years and know each other quite well, which is why I have been able to sit with what happened and realise that we have a chance at making this work. I know what we have to do and am prepared to do what it takes, but none of this will matter if he can't fix the trust that has been broken. How do I go about this?
Time and patience alone can help, which requires a certain amount of acceptance on your part. You have both looked at the end of this relationship differently, and what may be clear to you has probably not occurred to him because he has valid reasons for not following that train of thought. Tell him that you accept his inability to trust and talk about meeting without an agenda. If you can meet without raising the possibility of giving this relationship another chance, it may allow him to treat this as a neutral and safe space where issues can be discussed with more honesty. Also accept the possibility that he may never come around, which is also his prerogative. Start small, try keeping lines of communication open, and give him as much time as he needs because that is the only way.

I'm trying to think of a way to get revenge on my ex-boyfriend, but my friends say I should let it go. Why should it, if he hurt me a lot? What should I do?
Ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. You have been hurt, so the need for revenge may seem normal, but give yourself time to heal first.

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