Dr Love with Mid-Day: How do I get her to return my gift?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend and I broke up a month ago and, since then, I have been trying to convince her to return something I gifted her on her last birthday. It's an expensive thing and I know it's unfair for me to ask, but it has sentimental value. She isn't returning my calls and says we aren't going to stay in touch. I don't mind not staying friends or not meeting, but I just want the gift back because it means a lot more to me than to her. She knows this and is just being petty because of the way our relationship ended. How do I get her to change her mind? I don't want to be aggressive but being nice is not helping either.
There is no question of being aggressive because you have given something to her that now belongs to her. She can choose to return it if she wishes, but she is also well within her rights not to because that is what a gift means. You have no legal standing and what she chooses to do with it is entirely her prerogative. You have asked, she has declined, and that's the end of the matter. Accept it and move on.

What should I do about a situation involving a friend who is always flirting with my boyfriend? She can't seem to help herself even though I know she won't cross any lines. It just makes things awkward between us and my boyfriend doesn't know what to do or say in these circumstances. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but this is a serious issue.
If your friend can't respect boundaries, she isn't a friend despite what you might think because all relationships that last are built on mutual respect. Tell her it's a problem and ask her to back off. Her inability to do this is not reason enough because she is an adult and can exercise free will. If she can't, reconsider meeting her with your boyfriend or start distancing yourself.

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