Dr Love with Mid-Day: We just don’t see life the same way!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

There is a big difference in age between me and my boyfriend, and I sometimes feel as if this contributes towards a lot of our arguments. He doesn't seem to think so, but we have such a different outlook towards life that it makes it hard for us to see each other's perspectives on many occasions. We love each other and I don't doubt that he cares about me, but I also worry about the future because it sometimes feels as if he will change in ways that I won't be able to handle. Should I end this relationship or am I wrong in assuming the worst about a future that neither of us can predict? What if I am making a mistake by letting him go for this reason alone?
You need to look at where things stand by evaluating what your needs are. If he meets them but you can't see eye-to-eye on many things, you are choosing to stay by making certain compromises. At some point, if the compromises begin to overwhelm your needs, you should be honest with yourself and ask questions about what you are giving up in exchange for this person's presence in your life. It's great that you love each other, and it's true that the future is unpredictable, but the longer you stay in this relationship, the more information you can collate about who this person really is and how your life will be altered by his presence or absence. Use that to decide if this is a joint future worth working towards, knowing that there will be further compromises in store.

I recently met someone who is so great that he's making me overenthusiastic and eager to please just so we can be together. How do I stop myself?
If you are aware that you are overcompensating, you should also be aware that this sets the tone for the future of your relationship. Why not start by asking yourself how you would like to be treated by him too?

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com