Should I reach out to my ex-girlfriend?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 28-year-old guy and my last relationship ended almost a year ago. Since then, I have been on multiple dates but have not been able to stay with any one person for an extended period of time. I have tried to get close to many people but can't seem to open up. At first, I just dismissed this because it felt as if I needed time to get over the grief of my last relationship. Lately, I am wondering if it's a sign that I should try and get back with my ex. I still dream about her a lot and, sometimes, when I'm on a date, I find myself comparing the person to my ex. I know why our relationship ended and it was really bad towards the end, but if I can't seem to get over her after all this time, I wonder if it means we should have tried harder. She has never contacted me since we broke up so I don't know how she feels. Will I be making a mistake by reaching out to her?
You admit knowing why the relationship ended and are aware that your ex has not reached out. This is real information that should help you figure out what the possibilities of reaching out are. There's nothing wrong with missing an ex, of course, but there's also nothing wrong with your ex not looking at this previous relationship in the same way you do. Things ended because you both presumably decided that things couldn't be fixed. If she hasn't reached out, it's completely possible that she may have moved on. The easiest way to figure out where things stand is to send her a message asking if she would consider meeting. If there is no response, or a refusal to meet, you will have your answer about where things stand with her. If you do meet, understand that rekindling a relationship will always have to start from a place of honesty and a willingness to change.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com