Dr Love with Mid-Day: All I want to do is protect him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am in love with someone who is stuck in a difficult relationship but doesn't know it. His girlfriend treats him badly all the time, and always takes him for granted, but he just doesn't seem to understand this. I want him to realise how bad this is, but don't know how he will react because he may think I am trying to destroy his relationship so I can be with him. I would love for him to see me differently, of course, but this is just a selfless thing I want to do because I care about him and want to protect him from the person he is with. What is the best way for me to get him to open his eyes and get away from his girlfriend? I don't even care if he isn't with me as long as I know he is happier.
You are using selflessness as an excuse to interfere in someone's life without knowing anything about their relationship. You may believe this is a case of someone being treated badly, but to assume that this is done without their knowledge is presumptuous. If he doesn't want to be with someone, and believes his relationship isn't giving him what he wants or needs, he will have to wilfully disassociate from it. For you, as an outsider, any attempt to become the person who will save him is doomed to fail. If this person is a close friend, you can always express your opinion but, if there is no real friendship here, you are only going to be seen as someone trying to ruin a relationship. You have to allow people to make their own decisions because these are two adults who are consenting to a situation even if you think it isn't an ideal one.

Do drunk people mean what they say? A girl told me she liked me during a party and has not reached out since.
You can always message her and ask her out if you want an answer.

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