Dr Love with Mid-Day: I feel like I am training him

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been going out with a guy for about two months, and I can't seem to understand him well. I have been in multiple relationships before while he has had just one girlfriend. He's a nice, kind person, so I don't know how he has never managed to have more than one relationship. I keep looking for signs that there's something wrong with him, but he seems normal. Things are going slowly and I find myself explaining a lot of things about how to be a good partner, which is not frustrating, but still cause for concern because I feel like I am training him. Is this relationship a bad idea? Should I be with someone who is more aware of what it means to be in a relationship or am I overthinking this?
You're not overthinking this but you're not asking yourself the right questions either. How does this person make you feel? Do you love him? Do you like being with him? Does he make you feel loved and secure? Is his perceived lack of experience with another person causing you any serious harm or damaging this relationship in any way? There is no guarantee that someone who has been with multiple people has figured out what it means to be a good partner because every relationship is different. People want different things from their partners and what may be right for you may make no sense to someone else. If things are going slowly and you want to change that, talk about it. If you are okay with everything else, be patient and remind yourself of why you chose to be with this person in the first place. Give it time, allow him to understand you better, and think about how you feel after a couple of months. If you still feel as if the cons outweigh any pros by that point, you can always change your mind about continuing to be in this relationship. Until then, try and just enjoy being with him.

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