Dr Love with Mid-Day: Can’t stand the sight of my ex!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My ex-boyfriend will be attending a family member's wedding because he is related to the groom and I am struggling to cope with this because of how bad our break-up was. We were together for almost three years until we called it off. We said the worst things to each other and have cut off all ties for over a year now, so I don't know how I will manage if I see him in the same room. If I could skip this wedding altogether, I certainly would, but I don't have that choice because my family would be incredibly upset. What is the best way to deal with this scenario? I can't stand the sight of him and don't want to be in a bad mood all evening.
You are under no obligation to engage with someone you cannot stand. You don't have to speak, pretend, or even acknowledge this person if you don't feel like it. What you must try and come to terms with is the fact that neither of you has control over the world at large. There may be multiple other scenarios that involve running into each other, and the best way to manage them is by taking control of your emotions rather than trying to take control of the external world. Focus on maintaining calm, remind yourself of why you are attending a day that is important to someone else, and remember that this is an event that will come to an end at some point. This kind of thing can always happen again.

I am hurting because someone I thought was interested in me just blew me off when I asked him out for coffee. How do I know if I am misreading signs from other people?
You learn through experience and by being direct. Your pain is real but the only way to figure people out is by asking them how they feel. You must be prepared for answers that you don't want, because that is what life is like.

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