Dr Love with Mid-Day: How will I know if I still love him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I broke up and are now trying again, but I don't know if I really love him. How will I know? You have both decided to be together on two separate occasions for a reason. If you can't figure out what those reasons are, give this some time until you do. If that still doesn't happen, ask yourself what this relationship is built upon and if it is enough to sustain a future together. Remind yourself that it takes time to get to know someone and to get a sense of what any bond is made of. Should I stay with my wife or go with the person who has always really been there for me during any crisis? We have been married for a year, but my female friend has always seemed to be more invested in my well-being than my wife. We had an arranged marriage, and I knew it felt like a compromise, but that only seems clearer to me now that we have lived together. I think I made a terrible mistake and want to fix it as soon as possible, but guilt is holding me back. Should I stay with my wife just to avoid hurting her and ruining her future?
Choosing to stay with someone you don't really want is what causes real hurt because your relationship is being built on a lie. How you feel about someone outside this marriage doesn't matter as much as what you feel for your wife, because that is the commitment you are not interested in upholding. You need to speak to your wife about this and be honest about your feelings, because not telling her is unfair to you both. It is only after you resolve your feelings towards your wife that you can think about what you want to do next, and if this involves a new life with someone else. Nothing you decide will work in the long term if you don't approach it with honesty in the first place.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com