I don’t know if he is serious about us!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 21-year old woman and hadn't overcome a previous experience when I met a guy in college. We didn't know each other but began talking on Instagram and connected. He proposed and I said yes after he asked me many times. We began dating and after two months he told me that he loved me and wanted to spend as much as time with me as possible. He says he has overcome his past, but I don't think that's true. He follows his ex-girlfriend on Instagram and didn't tell me about it. His ex-girlfriend calls and asks him for advice, and he wants me to be okay with this. We have many differences of opinion between us because of his past. He barely puts any effort into this relationship because his past experience was not good. I have asked him many times to put it behind him and work on this together. My past has never been a sensitive issue between us. I don't know if he really loves me or just shows that he wants me. How do I figure this out? I don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't serious about me.
If this isn't someone you think is taking you or your relationship seriously, you should be clear about what you expect him to do if he wants this to work. Actions should match words and, if they do not, you should trust your instincts and decide if this is worth investing your time in. You're 21 and will probably meet a lot more interesting people who will teach you a lot about love and mutual respect. If you want to try and fix this, however, I suggest you tell him why his interactions with his ex-girlfriend bother you. I also suggest you evaluate your reasons for whether it is insecurity that causes you to have a problem with this. Think about what your reasons for being with this person are and make a decision when you're ready.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com