I feel like I am losing my bestie...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My best friend recently got engaged and it has pushed me into a state of despair that I can't get out of. We were always together and had planned to marry at the same time, but I am not in the same place she is and don't see myself settling down anytime soon. I am genuinely happy for her, but I feel as if there's something lacking in my life that has prevented me from finding the security she currently appears to have. I don't know what to do about this feeling, but I worry that it will drive us apart and that I will lose my friend just because of circumstances beyond my control. How do I change the way I feel and make sure we are still friends?
The key word here is ‘circumstances' which needs to be considered because they are separate from feelings and emotional bonds. You are friends with this person because of how you value each other, not because of what either of you is doing in your lives. It's great to have plans, but wisdom lies in acknowledging that we can't impose control over external factors. You and your friend are in different situations when it comes to your love lives, and that's perfectly okay. If you aren't comfortable with the idea of settling down just yet, you're doing what is best for you, just like your friend is. Focus on what is important - her happiness, and the bond you both share and want to preserve - and accept that time will make you feel differently. You don't have to lose a friendship if you are both committed to it.

Is it normal for my boyfriend to compare the gifts we give each other and see who is spending more on them?
It's a sign that the gift itself may be more important than the sentiment behind it, as well as the person who is doing the gifting. It's a sign of misplaced priorities and you should keep an eye on it.

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