I feel she is the one. She doesn’t

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 30-year old guy and am considering asking my girlfriend to marry me. We have been together for a year, and I don't think she considers this a long period, which is why I believe she may not accept my proposal. I am convinced that she's the one for me though, and want to make sure she knows this because I think it will bring us closer together and help our relationship become much stronger. Should I not say anything for a few more months until she feels more secure, or tell her how I feel and risk rejection? My friends are giving me conflicting opinions, and this is causing me a lot of stress which makes it hard for me to focus on other things. I love her a lot and can't lose her. What should I do?
If you love her and don't want to lose her, why not give this relationship time and space to breathe, and focus on enjoying the time you both have together? What does a proposal accomplish except trying to pin someone down while being aware that she isn't experiencing the same things you are? It takes time for two people to understand each other better and arrive at a place where they want to set common goals. It's important to recognise that asking someone to marry you is a huge question because it is a lifelong commitment. If you're worried about her rejecting you, it's because you are aware that she needs to get to know you better and needs to feel as secure in this as you believe you already are with her. Spend time with her, get to a place of comfort where you can both speak more freely about your feelings, and allow this to happen on its own.

Should I risk angering my boyfriend by meeting my ex behind his back?
If you feel the need to withhold some information, examine your reasons and acknowledge that there may be unresolved issues that need addressing.

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