Dr Love with Mid-Day: My boyfriend is jealous of my ex

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend is convinced that I am not over my ex, which is untrue and ridiculous. He mentions it whenever we have an argument, and I think he feels this way only because I am still in touch with my ex. I have even asked him if I should cut ties, but he says I shouldn't because I will then resent him for it. I don't know what else to do because there is no way for me to change his mind if he can't get over this idea. He is jealous but can't even admit it. I spoke to my ex about this, and he thinks my boyfriend is being too possessive. Is this someone I should avoid getting into a long-term relationship with? If I treat it casually now, I won't get hurt later. What should I do?
It's a bit mercenary to evaluate whether you should stay with someone for a short while or a longer period without evaluating how you feel about him. Why did you get together? What did you hope for from this relationship? Do you want him in your life? Answers to these questions will help you look at this problem from a different perspective and change how you see each other. If he doesn't believe that you are in love with him, nothing you do will work. If he can't get over your past, you don't have a future with him. However, if you both want to be together, there are always ways of communicating that can bring honesty and trust into your relationship. Give yourself some time to understand what you want before you think about staying or ending this.

There have been a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, and I feel as if my girlfriend has stopped trying. Is there any point in continuing to be together?
Have you had a conversation about this with her? A relationship involves two lives and futures, so why aren't you thinking about what this means for you too?

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