I just can’t seem to move on...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I get over a guy I have been in love with for over five months? He is not interested in me at all, and I don't know if he will ever change his mind, but I keep trying to go out with other people and no one seems to match up. This has been a source of depression for a while now. The longer it takes for me to forget him, the more I worry that I will end up settling for someone who isn't good enough. It feels as if I am always going to choose a partner who isn't worthy of me, because the person I genuinely want to be with doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I have accepted that I can't do anything about this, but it makes me sad all the time and I haven't been able to focus on other important aspects of my life. How do I manage?
You have the facts before you and seem aware of what you must learn to accept. It's okay to love someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings, provided you also accept that time can help in ways that don't always make sense. It may seem as if this person's absence will colour the rest of your life, but that is only because you haven't accepted the fact that there are other people you simply haven't met yet. We evolve and change over time, and what may seem like the right person for you today may be the exact opposite of what you need to thrive a few years from now. Instead of trying to get over this person, try and focus on what you want your life to be like, and open yourself to the possibility that someone whose own goals and outlook aligns with yours may be just around the corner. Meet as many new people as you can, give yourself time to be single if necessary, and you may be surprised by how differently you feel a few months down the line.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com