I’m still hopeful he will change...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year old and have been with a guy my age for two years. Things were great between us at the start, and our first year was amazing, but things began to change in the second year, and we started to grow apart. I feel as if our relationship has soured now because we just pretend as if we are a couple and go out to meet people together, without really having any real connection. Much of the fault lies with my partner who has been emotionally unavailable in recent months. He doesn't tell me what he's thinking or doing, rarely asks about me or my life, and is happy to just drift along because I haven't had the courage to end this. I don't even know why I haven't ended it but believe it's because a part of me still hopes he will change. What should I do?
You can hold on to hope for as long as you want to, but the fact remains that this is something you both have to commit to if this relationship stands a chance. He may be emotionally unavailable, but have you tried asking him about the state of things and how he perceives you? Is he happy with the way things are, and does he want anything to change? If he believes everything is fine, it may be time for you to discuss your individual expectations and figure out why they are so radically at odds with each other. This isn't an insurmountable problem, of course, but it isn't magically going to go away either. Have that direct conversation as soon as possible because the longer you wait, the harder you are both making this for yourselves and your potential future together.

My boyfriend gave me many chances to behave better, and I threw them all away. We broke up and I miss him. How do I get him back?
If you are aware of what you did, it's his prerogative to end this and move on.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com