My boyfriend is badly behaved...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend will never take responsibility for his actions, no matter how badly he behaves. He seems to think it is his birthright to just gloss over things and move on, and I believe he has always done this since he was a child. I blame his parents because he is an only child and has never been taught to own up to anything. We have been dating for a few years, and he wants to marry me, but I constantly worry about what he may turn out to be like as he gets older. If he doesn't even want to question himself, and do something to become a better human being, I sometimes feel as if I am setting myself up for failure by agreeing to marry him. Should I be more optimistic and hope that he will change after we marry?
Why be optimistic when he has given you no reasons so far? The cause of his behaviour may be hard to identify, but it doesn't matter if he can't acknowledge how you feel and work towards becoming a better person. Love isn't enough to sustain a lifelong commitment, because relationships involve work and both partners need to put that in. If you are worried that nothing has changed in the time you know him, and he doesn't share your concerns, his dismissal is an act of disrespect because he doesn't deem your concerns worthy enough to be addressed. Ask yourself if this is the kind of person you can build a healthy, stable life with, and base your decision on what you know, rather than what you are hopeful of.

I lied about my age by three years when I began dating someone, and things are getting serious between us. What do I do?
You have to come clean because this relationship can't evolve without honesty. You may have had your reasons for lying, but you can't hide from that fact forever. Own up, explain your actions, and give your partner time to accept this.

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