Should I ask if he is interested now?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few days ago, I asked my colleague if he was interested in a relationship with me, but he denied it. After a few months, we had an office party. He insisted on dropping me home and we got intimate. Does this mean he is interested in me now? Should I ask him again?
- Priyanka C
There is nothing wrong with asking him again, of course, although you should keep in mind that whatever happened did so under circumstances that weren't exactly ordinary. If he is really interested, he should be able to express that interest and act upon it on days when neither of you is partying. He should ask you out and tell you what he has in mind. If he hasn't, you can ask him out, then talk about what happened, and why. If he doesn't agree to go out, it's possible that he looks upon that incident after the party differently from the way you do. You should then assume there is no genuine interest.

I think I have fallen for someone who is an alcoholic, and I don't know if this will have a negative impact on me. He is sweet and kind, and not a bad person, but he drinks a lot and doesn't want to do anything about it. His drinking doesn't change his personality, but it obviously affects his health. Should I continue seeing him or insist on being with him only if and when he has this habit under control?
Addiction is a disease and, like any serious aliment, has the potential of affecting the lives of everyone in the patient's orbit. Drinking may not affect his behaviour, but it could have an impact on your mental health. If he wants this relationship to work, he has to take his own health seriously. If he doesn't, how do you expect him to take you or your interests seriously? Give it time if you need to understand him better before making any decision, but make sure your interests are prioritised.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com