Should I marry him or shouldn’t I?

01 January,2022 05:00 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

All you are asking for is time, which isn’t an unreasonable request at all. Why not tell him your plans and come up with a date that works for you both, giving you both something to look forward to and work towards

Illustration/Uday Mohite


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I am a 25-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a guy who turned 30 this month. He wants to marry me because we have been together for two years now, and because he has been offered a great job in another city. I don't want to get married so early because I still have to become a little more financially secure, but I understand that not marrying him before he leaves for this job can lead to some risks. If he finds someone else, he will end this relationship and I will feel as if I sacrificed my future with someone I love for the sake of my career. I don't know if I should marry him and then get back to my career in a new place. My parents have left the decision to me, and I am very confused. What should I do?
There are a number of assumptions being made here, none of which appear to be grounded in anything factual. You assume your boyfriend may leave you after moving to another city, which implies a lack of trust in your relationship. You assume he won't be prepared to wait for you to become more financially secure, which implies an inability to express your own wants and expectations. This doesn't have to be a problem if you are both committed to the idea of being together for the rest of your lives. If he wants to marry you, it implies that he cares about you enough to take that step. All you are asking for is time, which isn't an unreasonable request at all. Why not tell him your plans and come up with a date that works for you both, giving you both something to look forward to and work towards?

My friend's sister likes me, but I don't know if this will make him angry. Should I tell him?
Why not consider how you feel about her first, and what you expect will happen by letting him know this?

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