So afraid of her moving away...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year-and-a-half. We love each other a lot and I foresee a lifelong commitment if we manage to stay together for a while because I have never met anyone who understands me better. She has been offered a significant raise and promotion if she considers moving to another branch of the company, but it is in Dubai, and she will be gone for two years. I don't want her to give up this opportunity because it will be great for her career, but I also worry that she will change, or that our relationship will suffer in some way. How do I know we will be able to pull this off for such a long time? Should I assume we will have to try only when she gets back?
Why assume anything without sharing your fears with your girlfriend? Why assume she doesn't worry, or that she believes this won't harm your relationship? Any long-distance arrangement comes with its share of challenges, but being in the same city also requires a lot of work. Open and honest communication, being able to talk about your worries, being empathetic to the other person's needs: these are all things that need to be done for any relationship to evolve and grow stronger. It will be difficult, but it isn't impossible to find ways in which this can be accomplished. The important thing is for you both to first figure out where things stand and whether you both want to invest the time and effort into a future together. If you do, everything else is a matter of figuring out solutions. It is a process that will not change for the rest of your lives because all couples navigate challenges together. As for trying to predict whether she will change, you can't say that about yourself or her even if neither of you moves away, so why go down that path? Focus on the big picture and it can be done.

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