We are bad for each other, yet...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I want my girlfriend back, but I am also aware that this could ruin my life. We have arguments all the time because we are both volatile individuals. Our relationship went on for two years, but it also damaged our mental health in all kinds of ways. At the same time, I know that there is no one I have felt this close to ever before, and no one I have loved more. It feels like a gamble because we are very compatible, but we are also capable of destroying a lot of things just to prove a point. I am confused because I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting not trying harder.
You can gamble with your future if you like, provided you are both walking into this with your eyes open, aware of what might happen. Being in love should be a precursor to understanding, and the arguments you have had don't appear to have enabled that yet. What may make more sense at this point is to take a step back and evaluate what you both want from this. Ask yourselves tough questions about why you chose to be together, why the arguments didn't cease, and why the relationship failed. Be honest with your responses too and talk about what getting back means for each of you. Your mental well-being is critical because, without it, neither of you will have the tools to cope with the challenges that may arise. You don't have to rekindle your relationship just yet. Try taking it easy as friends for a while and let it evolve in its own time.

My boyfriend is great in bed, and I always feel as if I am not adequate. He doesn't say anything, but this pressure ruins our moments together. Should I speak to a professional about it?
Anxiety about intimacy is normal and approaching a professional can help. However, it is important to trust your partner too. If he isn't saying anything, why are you presuming things?

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