Why can’t I find someone new?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been divorced for two years, and it is starting to bother me that I have not been able to get into a new relationship since then. I am still young and was sure my age would be a positive thing when it came to finding someone, but that has not happened. When I meet someone and tell them that I used to be married, they lose interest. This happens suddenly, or slowly, but they inevitably ghost me. I have even tried not mentioning it on dates, but I can't just hide part of my life away and not be honest. I am frustrated because the guys I meet are not that young either, so I don't know what they're looking for. Is there something I am doing or not doing that is getting in the way of me being able to move on?
You're being honest about yourself and your life, which is how it should be. To temper your expectations or be someone you're not isn't going to help you find someone. It will only bring you someone who isn't genuinely interested in who you are. The question of what these people are looking for isn't unique either, nor is it confined to older people. The best thing you can do is hold on to the idea that someone needs a person like you in their life. It may sound like a cliché, but dating is difficult at any age. Meeting as many people as possible is important, so stick to what you're doing and accept that finding the right person can take time.

My boyfriend claims that I'm not a real girlfriend, just someone to be with because we mutually agreed to try it. I don't see it that way at all. Am I overreacting? Is he just trying to provoke me?
What he's trying to do is irrelevant if he doesn't see this relationship the same way you do. Ask yourself if this is the kind of situation you want to be in.

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