Why can’t I walk away from him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been in a relationship with a guy who doesn't appreciate me. He says he loves me, but always acts as if he is doing me a favour. When I tell him that this isn't working, he begs me to forgive him and promises to try harder. He is then sweet to me for a few weeks before going back to his old ways. My friends tell me to just end this because it's making me miserable, but I have been with him since college, and no one knows me as well as he does. I keep telling myself that he will change as he gets older, but a part of me is also worried that I may end up being with him for the rest of my life. I don't seem to have the courage to walk away. How do I do this?
You can start by putting yourself first for a change and believe that the longer you are in an unhappy relationship, the more you may start to accept that this is the only way. It's amazing how quickly we can accept something bad as normal. If he hasn't changed in all these years, you have no guarantee that he will in the future. If he genuinely respected you and your opinions, he wouldn't make you this unhappy. Someone knowing you intimately is not reason enough to hold on to a relationship that isn't working. If this hasn't changed for the better, it is a sign that there is no growth, which can only end badly for any relationship. You can allow the fear of not meeting anyone who knows you well to prevent you from being happy, or you can embrace that fear as an opportunity by telling yourself that someone who loves and respects you is probably waiting out there. Give yourself a chance to find happiness. You won't know unless you try and, the longer you deny yourself that possibility of a strong relationship, the more frustrated you may eventually become.

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