'If he can't handle your past, it's his loss'

Updated: Dec 22, 2016, 12:22 IST | Dr Love

I have been dating someone for over a year now. When we started dating, he asked me how many people I had slept with...

I have been dating someone for over a year now. When we started dating, he asked me how many people I had slept with. I lied at the time, because I didn’t want him to think I was easy. I also didn’t think it was any of his business, considering I barely knew him. He let it go, but a little over a week ago, he asked me again and I blurted out the truth. This wasn’t a significantly higher number, but he freaked out anyway. He called me a liar and said it was impossible for him to trust me because I had told him something else a year ago. I tried to explain why I said what I did back then, but he doesn’t get it. He says I may still be lying and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. What can I do? I love him a lot, but I can’t get why he’s being so irrational about something that happened in the past. I don’t want to lie, but I believe I had a valid reason for saying what I did.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, and nothing to justify because, as you rightly point out, this is your past. You are also correct about it being none of his business, considering you both barely knew each other at the time. If he wants to hold your past against you, and ignore a present in which you are with him alone, it’s his loss entirely. If you have spoken to him about this and he doesn’t get it, there really isn’t anything you can do. And if he thinks you’re still lying about the past, maybe he doesn’t know you at all despite being with you for a year. He knows you love him, but chooses to be childish about this nonetheless. Why waste time trying to get him to see your point of view if he refuses to listen? Try and move on.

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