I am in a relationship with a married man

Updated: May 06, 2019, 08:22 IST | Dr Love

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I am in a relationship with a married man

Dr LoveI am unmarried and fell in love with a married man. He is a senior colleague and made me fall in love by telling me he was alone and talking about how he wanted me in his life. He said he simply had to fulfil his responsibilities towards his wife and would not share himself with her or anybody. After I fell in love with him, he started to give me all kinds of excuses. He avoided conversations about serious issues and asked me to stay away. His behaviour has changed, and he no longer cares if I am hurt or not. He wanted his freedom, and I have been struggling with depression ever since. I can't leave my job because my career is a priority. I just love him without getting anything in return, and all I want is for him to be faithful to me. Please tell me what to do and how to behave with him. I am hurt and cannot concentrate on anything. - SG
There are a few things I don't understand about your situation. You say your colleague told you he was alone, but also mentioned his wife. You don't want to share him, but wilfully got into a relationship with a married man. I am not condoning his behaviour, but I think you need to examine your own choices because your poor judgement is as much to blame as his adultery. It is obvious that this man simply wanted to use you and move on; being in love with him is okay, but not recognising that there is nothing to be gained from this love is a problem. You will move on eventually, because time is a great healer, but breaking off all contact with him is probably the only thing you can do for now if quitting your job is not an option. I wish I had more advice to give you, but you are both consenting adults. You chose a married man. The sooner you forget about him, the better.

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