'I have difficulty socialising...'

May 31, 2014, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

I'm 26 and don't have the personality that can keep a person enthralled.

Dear Diana,
I'm 26 and don't have the personality that can keep a person enthralled. I wouldn't describe myself as intellectually challenged. However, I do struggle to understand sarcasm and lack a sense of humour. I feel uncomfortable with small talk. I do not know how to react when women are around me. I have heard that women like men with humour and I totally
lack it.
— Riyaz

Dear Diana 

Dear Riyaz,
You may be a shy, reserved type of guy, but that does not mean that you will not find a woman of your choice. You may have heard that women dig guys with a sense of humour, but there are a lot of women out there who also like the serious, brooding types. If you feel you lack social skills, learn to loosen up and do not get self-conscious when striking a conversation. If need be seek counselling as well. It is best to be just you instead of trying to ape someone who you cannot be.

Dear Diana,
I may well be overreacting, but I found a porn website address on my partner's laptop. He told me it was a pop up, but I don't think that's true, because he has had them blocked. We have been together for five months and have a great relationship and a fantastic sex life. We have talked openly about our past relationships too, so I find it a bit awkward that he's indulging in porn. I was upset when I spotted the site, but I didn't confront him lest I hurt him unknowingly. What should I do?
— Hira

Dear Hira,
If he was into pornography, chances are that he would do it on the sly and not keep the website addresses on his laptop to be caught by you. And even if he did visit it, may be he thinks it is a guy thing. If it is bothering you so much, ask him about it and tell him that it is affecting your peace of mind.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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