I want a relationship, she says she doesn't...

Updated: Apr 03, 2020, 04:14 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

When I asked her if she would consider a relationship, she said she enjoyed being with me but wasn't looking for anything serious

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been dating this girl for a few months now. We connected using a dating app, and I have always had a good time whenever we have gone out. When I asked her if she would consider a relationship, she said she enjoyed being with me but wasn't looking for anything serious. I asked her why she was on a dating app if she didn't want a relationship, and she said it was just her way of meeting interesting people. Should I just stop speaking to her? I thought we had something special.

People use dating apps for all kinds of reasons, and her reason for being on one is as good as any. She has been honest about what her expectations are. If they don't match with yours, you are not being forced into anything. You can always concentrate on finding someone who wants the same things you do. Rejection is hard, but she has a right to choose.

My ex-girlfriend and I work at the same firm, which is hard for me because I keep feeling miserable whenever I see her chatting with someone else. It has been a month since we broke up, but I haven't managed to get over the relationship yet. I don't want to quit because I love my job and have great prospects here, but I can't drag myself to work every day because I am so miserable. My heart says I should find a new job, but my head says this is a stupid decision. What do I do?

The smartest thing to do is give this time. If you know there are advantages to sticking around, the thing to do is remind yourself daily of what those advantages are. You have to acknowledge that getting over any relationship is always going to be hard, and will take its course. Why not assume this will take a few months, focus on your career, and allow grief to work its way out of your system naturally?

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