I want to end a toxic friendship
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have been struggling with a friend who has been nothing but nasty to me for years, simply because we have been friends since childhood. I get nothing from this friendship, and don't expect her to help me if I really need her help, but I still feel guilty if she calls and I don't meet her. I don't want to be with her because I know she is not good for me, but I can't seem to stop speaking to her either. I often hold on to people who I know are not good for me. How do I stop doing this?
You may reach a point in your life where you realise that you simply have to start putting yourself first because no one else is going to. Our priorities change as we get older, and people who don't respect us or bring some positivity to our lives simply start to fade away. If you know this is bad for you, it's a question of asking yourself if your life will change for the better or worse by your friend's presence or absence. If you can't stop speaking to her, don't. You can always start to limit your interactions slowly though, until you are ready to simply move on without her. That may sound like ruthless way of looking at things, but you have to start thinking about whether you owe it to yourself or not.
I made a comment about what my girlfriend chose to eat for lunch, and she thinks I was sending her some kind of hidden message. I wasn't doing anything, but she is just very touchy about what she eats. She hasn't spoken to me for a week now, which is ridiculous. How do I get her to stop being so sensitive?
If she's sensitive, and you know that she is, how about respecting her wishes and stop saying things that might be misinterpreted? Apologise for the comment, tell her you won't do it again, and simply avoid discussing her eating habits.
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