My boyfriend seems to love ALL women!

Updated: May 05, 2020, 07:48 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He has numerous affairs all the time, with women he meets at work or when he is travelling. He tells me about them sometimes, but I think he often says nothing because he knows I can't handle it

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy boyfriend is one of the kindest, most caring people I have known. He treats me with a lot of respect, and I feel like a queen when he is around. The one thing that bothers me is his love for other women though. He knows I can't stand it but says he can't change his nature. He has numerous affairs all the time, with women he meets at work or when he is travelling. He tells me about them sometimes, but I think he often says nothing because he knows I can't handle it. He says I shouldn't take these flings seriously because they don't mean anything to him, and I want to believe him, but I can't manage it. I am thinking of leaving him because of this. Am I being unreasonable?
Is it unreasonable for someone you love to respect you enough to be faithful? I don't think it is. It's one thing to be in a polyamorous relationship that is consensual, and quite another to have multiple affairs when your partner doesn't like it. He is cheating on you, and there is no way of sugar-coating that. As for treating you like a queen, everything he does is an act of disrespect because he goes against your wishes. It also implies that he may be lying to all these other women too, who may not know of your existence. What you choose to do depends upon what you are prepared to put up with or, more importantly, what he is prepared to stop doing if he wants you in his life.

I was very close to a friend who suddenly broke off all contact over a perceived slight, even though I did nothing wrong. How do I bring her back into my life?
You could send her a message explaining your side of the story and ask her to consider giving you a chance to explain and get rid of all the bad blood. There's not much else you can do if she won't communicate.

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