She said no, but now wants to marry me!

Updated: 17 October, 2020 05:22 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I didn't have a choice but to get engaged to someone my parents chose, because they were worried that I was getting older

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI am a 29-year old guy and was engaged to a 24-year old girl after a 2-year relationship. She changed her mind a few weeks before the engagement, saying she was too young to be married. I tried persuading her, because I loved her very much and wanted us to be married, but she was adamant at the time. I didn’t have a choice but to get engaged to someone my parents chose, because they were worried that I was getting older. My marriage is scheduled for later this year, and my ex-girlfriend recently got in touch to say that she has changed her mind and is willing to marry me. What should I do?

This depends entirely upon who you want to spend your life with, because no one else can make that decision for you. If you are worried about your girlfriend changing her mind, do consider that a lot of people shy away from commitments until they are ready, given how important the decision is. If you choose to end your current engagement, it will obviously hurt your parents and your fiancé, but it is better to figure out what you really want before marriage, rather than after. I suggest you take some time and think about this carefully. If you can, also speak to family and friends about how you feel and consider their perspectives.

My wife is more friendly with my male friends than I am comfortable with and I don’t know how to tell her to stop. I am not worried about her cheating on me, but I don’t want my friends to get the wrong idea. How do I manage this?

I’m afraid I don’t really understand the problem. If you say you trust your wife, is your problem simply one of accepting who she is as a person? If you don’t like how she behaves, what stops you from telling her how you feel? And if your friends get the wrong idea, isn’t that their problem rather than your wife’s?

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First Published: 17 October, 2020 05:20 IST


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