'Upset that you were not her first? Deal with it'

May 31, 2016, 07:30 IST | Dr. Love

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. My girlfriend's past sex life makes me angry. Is this wrong?
A. What you're saying, in effect, is that your girlfriend had sex with someone, or possibly more than one person, before she agreed to sleep with you. What this means is, it annoys you that she managed to have sex with someone other than you. This implies that the only person you would like her to have sex with, in her entire life, is you. This is such a narcissistic, inane idea that it makes me pity your girlfriend for agreeing to go out with you in the first place. Do you own her or her life in any way? Is she your plaything? Should she have lost her virginity to you, so you could sleep in peace? Do you own her body? If it makes you angry, take a cold shower and deal with it. People have sex. You're probably angry because you couldn't convince anyone to sleep with you, until your girlfriend came along.

Q. I was married a month ago. How many times should we have sex in a week?
A. Isn't that something you and your partner should decide? Sex isn't supposed to be a clinical thing you tick off your list after marriage. If you both want to do it every hour until you feel your genitalia will fall off, you should. If you want to do it once a year because you both can't stand the sight of each other without your clothes on, that's also okay. The latter option won't help your marriage, of course, because sex is an integral part of maintaining a healthy relationship. The thing to remember is that sex is beautiful and gets better with time. Don't approach it like a chore that needs to be completed on a daily basis. Try and use it to get to know your partner better. And do it the minute you both want to, instead of over-analysing the number of times you should.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Go to top