Guys I like are not into me, but others are, what to do?

Dear Diana,
I am a 22-year-old gay man. I've recently moved to a new city. I didn't have friends for months till I went into a bar one night. I was introduced to a group of gays/lesbians. They were really nice and let me into their group and now we are great friends.

Of late the guys have started to come on to me. I've tried to tell them politely that I'm really not interested, but they won't take no for an answer. I hate being mean or nasty to people but they don't seem to be backing off.

The twist is that now I've started to have a crush on two other guys who come to the bar regularly. I've been introduced to them but they don't seem to be into me. What do I do?



Nagesh
Dear Nagesh,
Yours is not a unique situation. It happens all the time. You like someone, he likes someone else. It's not the end of the world, and eventually you will meet someone who will like you as much as you like him.

Meanwhile, be firm with the guys who are not taking no for an answer. Refuse to hang out with them for a while if nothing is coming from it.

It can't be comfortable for you to be hang out with guys who are constantly trying to woo you. Also, stay away from the two guys who you like in the bar.
u00a0
If they've made it clear they are not interested, no point in pursuing that. Also, maybe you need to start hanging out in new places with a new gang of people. Hope that helps.u00a0

In search of a love spell...

Dear Diana,
Have you ever tried a love spell? Did you have any success with it? If yes, please share the love spell. I want a spell that will help me get my boyfriend back, and want him to be faithful and worship me.

Pinky
Dear Pinky,
Unfortunately, there is no spell that can keep a guy by your side and make him worship you. It's unrealistic to even consider it.
u00a0
Just be yourself and hopefully you are such a wonderful person that a guy will fall madly in love with you and worship you and want to stay with you forever.u00a0

My husband doesn't want to have sex with me...

Dear Diana,
Is it normal for a husband to not want to have sex at all? The last time we had sex was around three weeks ago.
u00a0
I feel like I am practically forcing myself on him. We have been married for four years now. There is nothing wrong in our relationship otherwise, but he just doesn't seem to want to have sex anymore.
u00a0
The last time I pushed him to talk about it, he mumbled something about an erection problem and now, he won't even make the effort. Do you think he has an affair or is just fed up of me?

Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
I would say your husband is embarrassed about his erection problem. It probably happened once and now he is worried about it, so doesn't want to initate sex. Also, it's been just three weeks.

Did you consider that he has something on his mind, or is going through some stuff at work or a mid-life crisis? Don't be demanding. Try to talk to him gently.
u00a0
Tell him there is no pressure. What makes you think he is having an affair? Have there been any other signs? Has he been coming home later than usual, missing work, or spending a lot of time on his phone?

I don't think this is a good time to confront him about that, unless you have something solid to back up your doubts. Encourage him to go see a doc, and tell him that whatever it is, you'll fight it together.