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Dear Diana,
sameer pawar
I have a peculiar problem. I am in love with a married woman who six years older than I am. She has two children: one's a nine-year-old, the other's five. She also loves me a lot. She has lots of problems with her husband. And would like it very much for me to take care of them.
I am also willing to accept her, children et al. Problem is, she isn't very sure how her children will react. Also, her father is a heart patient and might be affected due to this. However, her parents are aware that she isn't happy with her husband, but are not offering her any solutions. Kindly advise as to how to tackle this situation.
Sandip
Dear Sandip,
It isn't that peculair a problem. Although it has the potential of being a very messy one. Introducing her children to you now, would mean that they'd take an instant hatred to you for breaking up their family (even though that may not be the case).
They'll blame you even before knowing the facts. In court, her husband could use this against her to gain custody of the children.
You could talk this over with her parents though and take them into confidence, convincing them that you're right for their daughter and that they should help her in any way they can. Break it gently to them if you're sure this is what you want and that you're ready to go the whole hog with this.
A few months after the divorce though, you could break the news to the kids. Granted, they may not accept you soon enough, but at least you won't be the scapegoat!
I'm way older... but perfect for her!
Dear Diana,
I'm 35 years old while my cousin is 21. We're deeply in love with each other. We've been planning to get married for five yeard now. I understand there's a 14-year age difference between the two of us; would marrying each other be the right thing to do? I'm also a non-smoker and also a teetotaler. Also, we haven't had sex yet and are still virgins. Is there hope?
Sam
Dear Sam,
Legally speaking, there's nothing stopping you two from getting married. Parental consent might pose a problem though, given the age difference.
However, if your cousin can convince her parents that she's knows what she's getting into by marrying you, then there's hope. It'd be a problem if you are first cousins, though.
It isn't advisable if this is the case. You see, the problem could arise, should you decide to have children. Age difference won't be such a hassle in the initial years, at least.
She left me... she came back... she left me again!
Dear Diana,
I am 21 years old. I got into a two-year affair with this girl after I passed out Std 10. We got emotionally attached to each other. Later, I got busy with business and could not give her the time of day. She broke up with me. I tried to explain my actions but she wouldn't give me a chance. A month later, she began seeing another guy. It left me very depressed.
Three years on, she shows up again and says she wants to be friends again. I agreed. We started talking again on the phone like before. Then she changed tracks again saying that it felt like she was cheating on her boyfriend. I cannot live without her now. I told her this but she won't answer my calls. I want her back!
XYZ
Dear Friend,
Now that's a really one-sided affair, ain't it? She can't keep you twirled around her little finger like a yo-yo. And that just ain't right! She knows you're madly in love with her and could always serve as the go-betweener/ rebound guy. You didn't want much except her love and attention.
The only mistake you made was putting business over love. No girl can tolerate that the guy they love put work repeatedly over their own plans. Granted, that she was bound to dump you sooner than later. But she had no business coming back into your life and doing it to you again.
If a girl can feel friendship is akin to cheating her boyfriend, she's obviously thinking on a plane you aren't on. She knows you're hooked. Don't be! Let her go. And don't accept her back into your lfie again!
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