Well, maybe just a teensy little bit

Please do help yourselfrdquo said the lady across from me a Filipina princess with the sensibilities of a hobbit and a shocking history of secret dalliances with foodThe plate in front of her was orgasmic Lines of golden honey ran from end to end some 30 or 40 of them lumping into sinful puddles where the lines ended On this luxurious bed sat three fantasies each more seductive than the other The first was a wedge of cherry crumble an inch or so thick buttery yellow on top and a teddybear brown on its side A cherry sat red and smug on top of itBigamy was on the menu Close enough to the cherry crumble to be flirting shamelessly were two utterly lascivious bridesinwaiting luscious scoops of ice cream flaunting their assets The vanilla vixen already with creamy ruffles at waist level was dotted with cinnamon elegant and understated sure that history and glamour were on her sideBut lavender competition was just a nudge away a golf ball of blueberry ice cream white smeared with dripping violet this time sprinkled with toasted almonds Three real blueberries stood at the platersquos cardinal points mascots to this gluttonous postlunch orgyldquoI really couldnrsquotrdquo I said ldquoBut oh my god just look at itrdquoldquoWhy couldnrsquot yourdquo I was askedldquoWell so much creamrdquo I demurred ldquoAnd fat What about sugar Itrsquos practically inviting insulin resistancerdquo I laughed awkwardlyldquoBut yoursquore not diabetic are yourdquoldquoNot yet I supposerdquo I said sorely tempted but determined not to surrenderldquoWhatrsquos stopping you thenrdquoI fumbled for a fitting answer ldquoYou know what I mean I mean it is ice cream Itrsquos bad for health I mean rightrdquoBut thereby I believe hangs a tale of one of nutrition sciencersquos dirty little secrets Itrsquos the quiet part that you never say out loud We call to the witness stand one Andres Ardisson Korat a Harvard doctoral student studying the relationship between dairy foods and chronic disease Itrsquos 2018 His data rigorously collected and analysed is leading him to an unusual conclusion among diabetics eating half a cup of ice cream a day seemed to be associated with a lower risk of developing insulin resistanceNo one liked the conclusion naturally Whatever science said everyone knew that ice cream was one of the sinful baddies of nutrition a nowandthen indulgence for those who liked living on the edge It had all the wrong things never mind if they were organically produced and had practically no carbon footprint saturated fats sugar synthetic flavourings emulsifiers god knows what elseMake it go away said the department chair Frank Hu Dig deeperAndres dug deeper but came up again with the same answer somehow ice cream was just a great addition to your diet if you were on the road to diabetes or even were a trembling prediabeticTwenty years earlier Mark Pereira as an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School had been researching the connection between consuming dairy products and obesity and diabetes Using data from a 1985 study of how heart disease emerged in 5000 young adults he found that dairy foodsmdashmilk cheese cream yoghurt with all possible fat levelsmdashseemed to prevent chubby folks from developing insulin resistanceThe study made waves but everyone was uncomfortable with one key finding ice cream was 25 times more effective than milk in preventing insulin resistance It was the hero Naturally they decided to leave it outIce cream simply did not play ball with what the nutritionists expected even though its health benefits against diabetes were easily explained Its glycemic indexmdashthe measure of how quickly it boosts blood sugarmdashis lower than brown rice It has fat proteins and vitamins in decent quantities and is healthier than breadIn 2005 the Harvard School of Public Health published the findings of their observational study of dairy and type 2 diabetes after tracking three cohorts of men between 1986 and 1998 Once again when it came to ice cream they looked at their shoes and mumbled even though their data confirmed yet again that eating ice cream was one of the top ways to ward off insulin resistanceMeanwhile YouTuber Anthony HowardCrow went on a diet that could make any lawabiding American dietician blanche 2000 calories a day of ice cream plus 500 calories of protein supplements plus booze After 100 days on this gelatorich diet he claimed hersquod lost 145 kg and had better blood workldquoWellrdquo said the hobbit princess ldquoYou going for it or nordquoIt was a lovely afternoon and the riverfront restaurantrsquos breezy shade took the edge off the heat The sky was a ceramic blue Boats were drifting on the azure of Bangkokrsquos Chao Phraya riverThe company was warm and splendid everyone looked so content Anyway god if she exists absolves all sins every Sunday incertain places of worship And heck science was on my sideldquoWell maybe a teensy weensy bitrdquo I said ldquoJust this oncerdquoYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper