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He wants it to be serious, I don’t...

Updated on: 05 December,2023 12:32 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

He is entitled to his personal space and boundaries, but you can’t call your relationship solid if you have doubts about him being faithful. It’s a sign that things need to change, and soon

He wants it to be serious, I don’t...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

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I am 22 years old and have been dating a guy for seven months. He is very serious about me and always asks if I am as interested in him. I like him and have no problem being with him, but I don’t think I want to be in something so serious or committed. He is almost 25 and probably feels as if he wants a long-term relationship but I don’t see it that way at all. I have told him this a few times, but I don’t think he understands me. He says that if I can’t commit to something serious, we should break up so he can date someone who wants something more. I don’t know what to do because I can’t just agree to this without really wanting to. Should I just end it?
You are both clear about what you want from this relationship and have also discussed this with each other. It’s obvious that there is no match here, so why prolong something that isn’t going anywhere? You’re well within your rights to not commit to anything until you’re ready, and he is entitled to be with someone who wants a long-term relationship. It’s great that you have both been vocal about your expectations, so why not acknowledge that this isn’t working for either of you?


My boyfriend is always mysterious about his friends and colleagues and acts very secretive around me. We have been together for almost a year, but I still haven’t met the people he calls his closest friends. Is he hiding something from me, and should I treat his behaviour as a red flag? What if he is cheating on me with someone else? How will I know?
If he isn’t open about his life, you have a right to ask him questions about it. He is entitled to his personal space and boundaries, but you can’t call your relationship solid if you have doubts about him being faithful. It’s a sign that things need to change, and soon. 


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